more spring time and blues

So my migraine came back, just on the other side... they do this, visit one side and then migrate to the other usually the next day... so I thought I was safe... then I woke up this morning, no sight in my left eye and thump, stab, thump, stab, thump... you get the point. I was however alone with the boys... so I managed to get downstairs, get breakfast and thank you for cable and nickeloden... the boys watched TV and played while i slept until 1pm, then the little man asked for lunch and my little guy said I'm hungry. So I fed both of them but the little guy down for a nap and the little man watch more TV while I slept again until 5pm. I guess children just know when things are wrong because neither one yelled and screamed at the other, no toy snatching that I could tell, no hitting or other sibling fun... and really no bugging mommy except to snuggle or ask for food. Amazing.

So when I woke at 5pm and there was no more migraine... just that lovely dull brain bruise and fog, I decided that I should thank the boys and that we should get dressed and go to the park... where it is so pretty and usually I find it so nice to go to... but today not so much. Beautiful yes, depressing as hell yes. I'm walking with the boys, little man is walking too and little guy is content in his stroller, we get to the playground... little man wants to play, little guy wants to play but it's just me and I can't watch both so I have to explain that not today because daddy isn't with us... then I start to look around and everywhere are couples with young children and it is so sad. Everyday it is nice I take them to the park by myself and we do the babyswap when hubby gets there and I then go to work... life sucks. I want to be the family that can be together just one freaking day of the week... even just one day everyother week. So now I am mad and frustrated and depressed.

springtime... I am starting to think maybe it sucks!