bookstore search

Well today to get my little man away from the sickness we are going to search for some used book stores... there seem to be many of them in the scottsdale area... :)

The little guy is still really sick, finally we got his temp down to 99 degrees using both tylenol and motrin, far better than last nights 103.7... he only threw up once during the night, and at the direction of john hopkins he is only allowed to drink a 4th of a cup of liquid an hour, he has eaten one oyster cracker... while still extremely lethargic he does seem to have a bit of improvement going on. We are now considering prolonging our trip into next week, as both hospitals said this virus hangs on up to 10 days. dunno.

off on our bookstore excursion

well... here in sunny phoenix

we are not enjoying ourselves as much as we had hoped. I had hoped to be occupied for the first few days with family, which we did get to do some of... today we had hoped to get going on our first of two excursions. Little stuff had other plans, hence here I am writing not enjoying the organ pipe state park sunset. The little guy has been to two hospitals in less then 12 hours, he stopped being able keep water down last night, spent the night in barren desert er to be released with shots, when I finally got ahold of johns hopkins @ 5am our time they said to take him immedaitely to childrens of phoenix, where they hooked him up to a saline and glucose drip. now 12 hours later we are contemplating returning because his fever is spiking at 103.7. need I admit, I'm very doped up on my anti anxiety meds... i need a vacation;)

well there are some positives... my little man and I hung out together today, I drove around phoenix and didn't get lost. The catci are blooming and there are families of quails, they look just like families of ducks... only they scoot across the desert not water. Then there are 5 foot rattlers... so the neighbors say, I'm not taking my changes on finding one. Tomorrow my little man and I may attempt to find a used bookstore or two, little guy will either be back at the hospital or in bed/couch recouperating.

good and bad

These last few days have been good as far as headaches go. However the hubby's grandmother did pass away on Sunday... apparently she had not been eating or drinking for some time and they had to give her extra morphine the night before. I am sad for his family especially his father who has lived with her for so long, but I can not see how to be anything but relieved for her... there isn't anymore pain and suffering. So bright and early... and I do mean early on Thursday our small clan is going to arizona for 8 days. We are going to attempt to split our time up evenly between family and some sort of fun/vacation stuff. Unfortunately this will be our family's only vacation probably at least for a year and a half, maybe more. We are very grateful that we did get our flights paid for by frequent flyer miles from the hubby's brother. So obviously this will probably be the last post for this month.

On to my book comments... I did finish Eat Pray Love... I want more, I hate when a book ends, especially a true life story and it's like okay what happens next. Don't me wrong, I loved the book... but there should be a sequel... I want a sequel... I need more. Truelly a great read!

So then I picked up another book... mistaken identity, it's actually a religious book, although it tells the real life story of two young women whose identities get mixed up, one dies in a crash, while the other is horribly injured and in a coma from that crash... and both women are strikingly similar in looks and body types. It was a bit too religious for my taste, but none the less it only took me three days to read, so it was another great read. from the religious aspect I like reading other peoples takes on religion and god, and this really got the picture of belief across... it was amazing how these families got through such an ordeal and could still believe in god and that this was his all in his great plan. it was actually awesome to read how two families could respect each other so much and just pray instead of blame, hate, or try to sue someone... we need more of the good stuff in this world and these families are a wonderful example for all to follow, with prayer and god or not. It too bad that they had to endure the circumstances to produce this fine example, but maybe that is what they mean by god's greater plan.

now I have to find another book... my hubby thinks I'm crazy, at work we can check books out for two weeks, kinda like a library, so I kept doing this when I have oodles and oodles of books at home... but lets face it most of the books I'm reading I wouldn't exactly buy. And of course it leaves me with more funds for my Pearl s Buck book collection.

more spring time and blues

So my migraine came back, just on the other side... they do this, visit one side and then migrate to the other usually the next day... so I thought I was safe... then I woke up this morning, no sight in my left eye and thump, stab, thump, stab, thump... you get the point. I was however alone with the boys... so I managed to get downstairs, get breakfast and thank you for cable and nickeloden... the boys watched TV and played while i slept until 1pm, then the little man asked for lunch and my little guy said I'm hungry. So I fed both of them but the little guy down for a nap and the little man watch more TV while I slept again until 5pm. I guess children just know when things are wrong because neither one yelled and screamed at the other, no toy snatching that I could tell, no hitting or other sibling fun... and really no bugging mommy except to snuggle or ask for food. Amazing.

So when I woke at 5pm and there was no more migraine... just that lovely dull brain bruise and fog, I decided that I should thank the boys and that we should get dressed and go to the park... where it is so pretty and usually I find it so nice to go to... but today not so much. Beautiful yes, depressing as hell yes. I'm walking with the boys, little man is walking too and little guy is content in his stroller, we get to the playground... little man wants to play, little guy wants to play but it's just me and I can't watch both so I have to explain that not today because daddy isn't with us... then I start to look around and everywhere are couples with young children and it is so sad. Everyday it is nice I take them to the park by myself and we do the babyswap when hubby gets there and I then go to work... life sucks. I want to be the family that can be together just one freaking day of the week... even just one day everyother week. So now I am mad and frustrated and depressed.

springtime... I am starting to think maybe it sucks!

april showers bring migraines

well I think I would have prefered the horrible experience of working versus the worst debiltating migraine I've ever had, complete with near vomiting episodes. The crappy part was that the boys knew I was home and couldn't understand why I couldn't be with them. It made me sad. I eventually... literally crawled downstairs nearly blind from loss of vision and snuggled on the couch with my baby boy... by then the older guy was "sleeping". I woke up this morning with that wonderful bruised feeling in my head, but the headache was gone. It had to be the weather... gotta love the volitile springtime weather:(

Grandma is slowly doing worst, apparently she has stopped eating and drinking... I hope she goes soon... I know that sounds terrible but she can't be happy or feeling well, it just can't be humane. I still need to pack the boys carry on luggage... wanted to do that tonight, obviously I got home from work later then expected and here I am avoiding the need to do... this is just sooooooooooo much more relaxing! I want to read too... I've finally gotten to the love part of eat pray love. I really enjoyed the pray part... it gave a great explanation of meditation practices in a novel form, that have been so interesting to me but far to boring to just read. It was great, and filled, at least for me, with some ideas to help my meditations... yeah like I can crawl into a meditation cave with two young boys running a muck:) Someday!

survival

I survived my overnight fixture move... not without the help of wrist braces today however... I'm in so much pain:( But it's done, and I managed to get some sleep, the kids have been great today they both must have sensed my achey tired body because they both curled up on the sofa for a long time and let me nap on and off... no sibling fights, no whining for stuff... they were so good... maybe they have saved it all up for grandpa for tonight:) I am going to take the next week as easy as possible, probably no working in the garden, all I have planned is a parent project for my little man's end of school bash. It's not due for awhile but I feel I should get it done just in case we are in AZ when it is due. No changes on the Great Grandma front, she is still in the hospice center and still having a very rough time... it sounds as though this is not going to be a peaceful passing away which is so not fair. I still have to pack carry on bags, and of course the little dudes medical supplies, we actually have to preweigh all of his formula and baggy each day up immediately before we leave... I hate that I can't prepack that, I feel so out of control not being prepared. Oh well.

Some good news I got my first paycheck from the cafe and they are paying me more then they said an hour... this somehow does not make up for having to work all four days this week, However I suppose when the time comes to go out to AZ and I don't get paid at all during that time, I'll be greatful for the 4 days.

and more spring

I totally did not read today and not because of work. It was beautiful out 75 degrees beautiful. So me and my sidekick planted over two hundred onions- red and white, moved all the potted plants outside to the front stoops... including many soy beans, snow peas, 2 rhubarb plants, four corn plants and two strawberry containers with about a dozen plants altogether. We also planted about 30 garlic cloves. My blueberry bushes came in so we took care of those too. I also got more packing done and two loads of laundry which brings me to a sore point with the hubby, he always says he can't get things done because he is watching the kids... maybe it is the missing multitask gene in males... it's kinda frustrating, but I can't deny that he is a great dad.

On to the sad bit... we are gearing up once again to visit Phoenix, and not for pleasure, the hubby's grandma is not doing great... of course she is 97... I don't know how well I'll be then, I'd say not very well.

So I have a friend and I don't want to irk her but I just want to scream at her about how unrealistic she is, she can be very demanding, and takes advantage far too often of situations. She is not satisfied with her significant other, they don't have enough alone time, yet she is always telling me that they just went and saw this movie or that movie, or got away for the weekend without the offspring... these are things we dream of... but realize that now isn't the place or time, she just doesn't get life and then has to rub this in my face... although I'm not sure she realizes it. I'm afraid I'm going to just blow up at her... :( She truely does not appreciate all that she has... I don't know how to tell her this.

spring

I've been exhausted but still able to accomplish lots o stuff. Last thursday I got the yellow onions planted and I actually had off on Sunday and with the "help" of the little guy and eventually his big brother we planted five wild raspberry brushes, by the stream, that I dug up from my parents yard, and twelve raspberry brushes that I ordered from burpee... 4 different kinds. We planted those along side the fence on the south side of the house. Both boys fought over who got to help shovel dirt... it was cute! Then I worked some long gruelling hours at Borders, normally I sit down for part of the time while I'm there, but for the last three days including today I've been moving product from one area to another so I have not been able to get off my feet, then of course I've gone to job number two for another 5 hours of on your feet customer service:) I've got a horrible bout of carpel tunnel going from hand carting stacks of cd's around, my right hand was so numb today I could not pick up a pen, kinda freaky! This work also makes me incredibly dizzy... it's so weird... it's not exactly like walking in circles but more like ovals... I have to every so often walk away so I don't pass out. I can't wait until Friday... it will all be done!!!! Of course I am scheduled until 1:30 am in order to accomplish the fixture moves:( The worst thing is son numero uno - he's very clingy and is constantly begging me to stay home, almost depressed... but I've been spoiling him and slowly killing me by letting him stay up so I can read to him when I get home at night... we will have to pass on that on Friday!

Believe it or not I've been able to read, not as much as I'd like, but enough to say... that this gilbert chic is me. Come on who else do you know that is into meditation, yoga, traveling... she was in Russia at age 16, loves pasta, tell it like it is writer... I don't remember writing this book... or living abroad for a year... it could be me. I'm guessing you have already realized that I continue to give eat pray love kudos no wonder it was an oprah book!

compost

okay, for anyone who composts... the book Compost published by DK is a real quick read full of very helpful hints, ideas, and basics if you're just starting. It also has a wonderfully broken down index so you can just go to specific topics, if you don't want to read the whole thing! I'm also skimming through a cookbook called What Can I Bring, by Anne Byrn... 200 plus recipes for parties etc. Just in the first few pages there were easy recipes for yummy stuff like guac and hummus. That is about all my brain at this point can handle in the way of reading. I haven't called yet for my schedule at the cafe... I'm scared that they put me on for all four days:(

exhaustion

Okay I knew working two jobs would be very tiring... I didn't know I could be so tired I couldn't even read... wow. So I like my new job, and I don't like my new job... I have however found a new respect and love for job number 1. It's not that difficult... it's just for 5 hours I stand in one spot on hard tiles... that's no good, so after that I then get to really do some hard physical labor for an hour. yikes. On the up side I found out that the food we don't use gets donated... I always hated that about Domino's... we threw so much away... of course it was highly perishable. However on Tuesday they did not do donations... I'm set on bagels and bread for at least two weeks, and it's the good stuff!!!!! I did make the hubby on Tuesday help out in the garden... he tilled while I planted some onions, it's a start!